Today is my 22nd year to celebrate being a mom.
The Lord gave me exactly what I asked for — what I dreamed about as a young girl planning my future. He gave me two children — a boy first and then a girl — just as I asked.
But I didn’t end up being the kind of mom I thought I would be. And, through the years, I have battled a lot of shame over my mistakes. Of all the things I wish I could do over, I wish I could redo my early years of motherhood.
I read the “What To Do...” books that were supposed to give me all the answers to my mom questions. But those books didn’t have the answers to what needed to be fixed in my life.
Thankfully, along with all of the other attributes I asked Him for with regards to my husband, God gave me a man who was willing to pray for me and stick with me through the long haul until God could reach me and heal me of my brokenness.
Today, in spite of my regrets, I bask in the blessings of motherhood. My kids have grown into wonderful adults who love me and who, most importantly, love God. And I have grown into a better mom because of God’s grace and healing power.
I am better because I was willing to let God change me. Change isn’t an easy journey, but its reward is worth the effort of overcoming the difficult challenges. Before I could change, however, I had to see my need for change. And in my moment of crisis and realization, I called out to God and He spoke back with a still small voice and made the difference for me.
Because of Him, Mother’s Day is a happy day for me. I have a loving and engaging relationship with my kids because He saved me from myself.
I am a thankful mom.