Sometimes things just don't seem to make any sense at all to me. And when things don't make sense, I find it easy to become confused and uncertain, which makes me feel vulnerable and exposed. I don't like feeling any of those things.
I like to have a plan. I like to prepare in advance. I like to know what's coming next. So when I'm thrown into the unexpected, it feels a bit like a whirlwind to me. For someone like me it's an exhausting experience.
I've had a lot of whirlwind seasons in my life. Since I'm a planner you'd think I'd have figured out how to avoid them by now. On the other hand, since I've had so many, you'd think I'd be an expert at maneuvering my way through them with lots of grace. But I've learned neither how to avoid them nor experience them gracefully.
I've noticed something about myself concerning when these times come into my life. They always tempt me to doubt my trust and hope and confidence in His purpose, and my passion tends to wane.
I've also noticed that during these times I always come back to understanding my need to quiet my soul. So I make myself stop, look and listen, and when I do, I discover something new to learn and a different place within me that needs to grow.
It seems to take forever for me to finally get there.