I wrote what I have presented below twenty years ago when I was twenty-seven years old. It was published in the March, 1995 issue of Indiana Apostolic Trumpet, a Christian publication. I've decided to share it with you because it seems timely. I am posting it as it was originally published.
A Work of Heart
By Kerri S. Wilson
At my beginning God took out His canvas and began painting my life. I don't believe in predestination, but I do believe God had a plan for my life when He gave me the will to choose right or wrong. God's voice has always been present in the midst of the noise of my flesh, trying to keep me in tune with His will. Being all-knowing, God knew then what I would be today, and He knows what I will be in the future.
I've heard a lot about the nature vs. nurture issue, how some theorists believe nature decides a person's make-up, and how others believe nurturing is the deciding factor. I believe both genetics and environment play equal roles. While God created me, He is also nurturing me through my experiences. Whether my trials come from God, from my mistakes, or from satan, God is using them to help make me what He wants me to be.
I see many faults in myself, yet I realize I'm on the potter's wheel, not broken and thrown aside as useless. I try daily to walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit... not by sight, but by faith. I know all things are working for my good, for I love God and I am called according to His purpose. God has a beautiful plan for me. I am a work of His heart.
Maybe you've noticed the title of my blog site as well as one of my previous blog posts are the same as the title of the article above. As I read it, I realized after all these years not much has changed, but, yet, a lot has changed.
Though many encourage forgetting the past and leaving it behind while moving on to the future, I have found remembering both the "good" and the "bad" from yesterday to be a positive tool for personal growth. My past teaches me a lot about myself—I've learned much from simply reading this article.
Looking back is like stepping away from a canvas to view the artwork from a distance. The farther away you move the clearer the picture becomes. Seeing yesterday from where I am today reveals God's handiwork in my life. And when I remember, rather than hold me in their grip, my past failures and successes motivate me to embrace today and look forward to my future with anticipation. My past reminds me of how much God really is in control.
My dad was reorganizing his files and came upon the magazine with my article in it, so he shared it with me. The timing of my dad finding my article stunned me. Reading it from today's perspective gave me a reminiscent moment that brought clarity in the midst of my current struggles. Over the past few days I have asked God, "Where do I go from here?" I even asked Him to send someone my way with a few words of encouragement. I find it extraordinary that He decided to send me.