What Am I Reaching For?
I can sense a difference between when I talk to God about bringing resolution to something I need and when I talk to God for the sake of communion with Him.
Yes, the Bible does say “You do not have, because you do not ask,” (James 4:2). But the context of this verse is in reference to asking with wrong motives. And it discusses the wrong behavior we tend to engage in when we don’t obtain what we desire. Read from verse 1 through verse 3, and the part of not having because of not asking has different meaning. Read and consider.
“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions,” (James 4:1-3, ESV).
No wonder I feel differently in my spirit when my prayer time is about asking for something from Him rather than about spending time in communion with Him.
Selfish motives never bring peace to any relationship. The same is true regarding my relationship with Him.
The hard part is quieting my spirit against my inner noise of striving for obtaining what I think I need. My need may be for validation, security, provision, direction, etc... Whatever the need, the drive for need fulfillment is more powerful than is realized. But I see it, now.
Today, I came to Him asking and discovered my asking merely brought more war within my members — more fighting for what I wanted but less peace about it. When I stopped to consider why my asking didn’t seem to be working, I heard Him say “Be quiet. Come to me and find rest for your weary soul. My rest is everything you really need; my yoke is easy; my burden is light.”
His response to my asking called me to relationship. For it is through relationship that whatever I need will come without the fight for selfish gain.
Instead of reaching to get something from Him, I’m reaching for Him.