- Kerri S. Wilson
I Write the Song
Kerri S Wilson
Someone once asked me, "How do you do it?" Our conversation was interrupted before I could respond, so the question was never clarified nor answered. But, because of what had been previously stated, I knew the question was asked in context to my blogs.
How do I do it? How do I write my life out for others to read? It is difficult for me, and I always hesitate before sharing. Once it's in writing I can never take it back. But I don't want to take any of it back. I write in response to God's request of me, so He is how I do it.
Maybe you're wondering why I do it. God is my reason why as well. I remember my first "official" invitation to speak to a group of people. My husband and I were serving on staff as Family Pastor at the church where we attended. During our time in that leadership role my husband taught a marriage class every Sunday morning. He was going to be out of town on one particular Sunday, so he asked me to fill in for him.
After accepting the invitation I became nervous about speaking. I lacked formal training for public speaking, and most of my experience came from teaching my elementary special education students. I planned to teach from the Bible, of course, but I didn't know what I should share. I didn't want to discredit the platform I was given nor waste people's time. But I finally discovered my topic while asking the Lord what He wanted me to say.
I felt a strong pull to share my personal testimony about my journey to emotional healing. Agreeing to do so scared me because, other than with my husband and a minister counselor, I had never talked about it with anyone. My story is filled with private and personal information, so I was hesitant to be as vulnerable as sharing it would require me to be. Additionally, I didn't believe those who came to class would be comfortable with hearing that much information about me. But I took the risk and submitted to what God asked me to do.
As I expected, some tuned me out. But others wiped tears as I spoke, then many thanked me afterwards for being transparent. No one had to tell me their story for me to know they connected. I knew the Lord had sent His word through me to heal. I walked away from that experience understanding that sharing my story would never be about the multitude, but it would be about the few who were willing to be healed.
I hear my husband make the following statement often: "What is most personal is most universal." I have adopted it and used it and have found it to be true. Every time I open myself up to others, the "few" I mentioned above respond and many find healing.
Transparency is a risk, and sometimes I'm pushed away for taking it. But I continue to take it because those who are willing to receive what God has asked me to offer are worth it.
Every time I share my story I give a part of myself away. That's okay because it's the song God gave me to write. And I must write the song so others can sing.