He didn't form me in my mother's womb and then ask Himself, "What shall I do with this one?" He's never told Himself, "She's not what I expected," nor thought to Himself, "I had forgotten about creating her."

He knew exactly what He was doing when He created me. And He has never wished He could take back what He made. No! I was fearfully and wonderfully made on purpose for His purpose. He planned ahead for me and my future.

Though I know He sees me this way, I often argue with myself. My weaknesses are glaring; I see my flaws as disfigurements; I count myself unworthy every day. I know I have no right to ask, but I do ask: "Why have you made me so?" I tend to agree with those who say I don't measure up or who see me as a classic fail.

But what an ego I have! It always gets the best of me. My buy-in to others' limited value of me and my own negative self-talk wins every time. If only I could die better.

Where is my balance? How do I live dead to me yet believe in my worth to Him?

I'm working on that! Actually, He's working on it in me. I'm working on listening to Him whisper in my ear, "You're no afterthought!"