- Kerri S, Wilson
Fog is “a cloudlike mass or layer of minute water droplets or ice crystals near the surface of the earth, appreciably reducing visibility” (www.dictionary.com/browse/fog).
Because of the hazardous conditions fog creates, depending on the severity of the fog, travelers are warned to either travel using extreme caution or to not travel at all.
Fog is also “a state of mental confusion or awareness, a daze, or a stupor” (www.dictionary.com/browse/fog). People sometimes find themselves in states of mental fog, and, just as when fog happens in nature, when one feels foggy caution is necessary and advised.
I’ve been feeling a bit foggy lately. I've lacked clarity; I’ve been clumsy; and I’ve struggled with lethargy. I’m not sure why I've been so foggy. Maybe it’s the effects of my age, my current transition, something physical, or it might even be spiritual. Whatever the reason, I'm finding it difficult to "see" clearly.
My husband and I were talking with someone recently whom we had not seen in a while, and, after asking Eugene about his current state of affairs, they turned and asked me what I had been up to. I responded by saying, “Oh, I’m not contributing much.” They paused and looked quizzically at me, and then we all laughed and moved the conversation on to other things.
I was more serious than they realized. My fogginess has made me feel useless, inadequate, and unproductive. And no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to get out of it. It's proving to be a very frustrating season for me.
My mental fog has made me see the need to stop and consider cautiously, yet I have also felt pressure to try to find something with which to be productive for the sake of pleasing others. Every time I try, however, I feel I fail miserably because I’ve offered only half-hearted effort—it's difficult to offer more when my "vision" is hindered.
But I have found hope in this: “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31, ESV). And I am encouraged by the Psalmist who said, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10, ESV).
I’m feeling foggy; I’m not sure what comes next; and waiting is very difficult and frustrating. But I know God is aware of where I am, and He’s in control of my life. And just like every other difficult season I've struggled through, this one, too, will eventually pass. But until it does, if I'll trust and stay connected to Him I have an opportunity to know Him better and to grow and change, and He will use even this season for the good of His purpose.