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February 11, 2020

I’ve had a lot of “best days” in my life.

The one that trumps all of them is the day I was filled with the Spirit of God - what Pentecostals call the Holy Ghost and others call the Holy Spirit. I was 7 when it happened, and the timing could not have been more perfect. This most important God encounter happened before my very first “worst day” and the years of “worst days” that followed. God kept me through a dark journey.

Another “best day” happened when I was 35 years old. It was the day I sat across the desk from my counselor, and he told me the truth about my story. Freedom from the lies I had unknowingly believed about myself came to me in a matter of seconds as he spoke words of healing.

It took 28 years for me to find the clarity I needed to break free even though I had been living all of them in a growing relationship with God.

I stagger at the thought of what if no one had been prepared and available to give wise counsel. But he was prepared, and he was available, and he was G...

January 31, 2020

I’m been thinking about the story of Mephibosheth, who was invited by David to sit at the table.

Two points about the invitation stand out to me as significant with regards to value and intrusion.

David’s invitation removed any reason for Mephibosheth to feel like an intruder.

David’s invitation validated Mephibosheth’s value.

Invitation is powerful.

David’s invitation didn’t have contingencies because David’s motive was purely relationship based.

I tend to feel like a wall flower in the company of most people - valueless and intrusive. But I have found my experience to be very different in the company of God.

This testifies to a significant perspective change for me - so different from when I saw God as my punisher (faulty thinking rooted in past experiences).

Counseling facilitated my change in perspective. It healed and established my relationship with God. And my opportunity for counseling was God-given. My financial situation prevented me, but God moved me so that I could receive the hel...

January 11, 2020

My dream home is an opened-concept lake house with 4 bedrooms/4 bathrooms (master bath: seperate shower/tub w/closed in toilet and walk-in closet), entertainment room, laundry room, sun room, hardwood/tile flooring throughout, gas stove/quartz counter tops, private swimming pool/yard, with a wraparound porch and nestled in the woods.

I've lived in a lot of houses but never this house. But even though my house has never been exactly and completly like my dream home, God has always provided me with a comfortable place to live. Even when we lived in the church Sunday School rooms of the church we pastored, we had enough.

Eugene told me, once, how much he appreciates how I've always been able to make our house a home no matter how little we had. I've come to realize how doing so has been a priority for me because of my value for a safe sanctuary.

I've engaged in and have listened to multiple conversations, lately, about home redecorating. It's a popular topic, and some are even becoming rich...

November 12, 2019

“Martha didn’t need to earn God’s attention. She already had it simply because of the grace of God.” ~ Finding Rest in a Busy World (devotional)

I’m learning to find my significance in Him rather than from the “idol of productivity” (approval from others and self for performance).

This does not mean I’m doing nothing. It means, rather, that I’m learning to be content with doing what only God may be seeing. Since God has led me to this season, it seems He has deemed this a lesson I’ve needed to learn.

People tend to measure worth by the evidence of the presence and quality of productivity. But God sometimes calls us to obscurity so this cycle can be broken in our lives.

This is what it means to “Be Still.” It’s soul rest. It’s learning to trust that one’s place in God is enough. 

October 19, 2019

I’ve discovered in my quest to make a difference, there are some situations that confront me when I don’t know how to do it. Yet, I’m the one being called on.

Even though the one standing in front of me may lack understanding, my lack of discernment could actually be what causes the door of opportunity to shut. I am accountable to that.

Walking in step with the Spirit is as much about the lives of others as it is about my own life. While I stand firm in the convictions God has given me, I must also give room for people from all walks of life to find a place to see Jesus. Everything about me must be diminished while the light of Christ penetrates.

This doesn’t mean I walk backwards. But, rather, it means the fruit of the Spirit must be present in my life and play a significant role—fruit like long suffering, kindness, and meekness. And my knowing when to speak up or when to stay silent is key.

Throwing truth around will not facilitate the process of people being changed into His image....

October 13, 2019

Suffering is felt at different levels—through loss, physical pain, persecution, difficult relationships, financial strain, abuse, mental-emotional stress—more severe for some than others.

I would categorize my own suffering to be at the less severe end of the spectrum. God has blessed my life, and my suffering is paled when compared to His mercy and grace He has shown towards me. Nevertheless, any level of suffering, even when God has blessed, is not easy to deal with.

Suffering has challenged my thinking. One suffering season distorted my view of God so much that I spent most of my life believing difficult times were God’s punishment. Yet, another season taught me how to rely on God. The next season challenged my confidence in hearing God’s voice and my ability to wait patiently on Him. So, my experiences with suffering have revealed that suffering will sometimes be used to break and at other times be used to heal; sometimes for both. Whatever the purpose, suffering has been difficult t...

September 14, 2019

This is what I think.

I believe in moral absolutes.

I also realize I have not perfected morality in my life.

No, I don’t lie, steal, kill, nor engage in sexual sins. 

But, I do make mistakes. I fail to forgive. I talk about people. I act on my anger. I hold grudges. I justify myself. I forget to pray. I forget to read my Bible. I fail to witness. These are sins, as well. According to the Apostle Paul, to him who knows what to do but doesn’t do it, that is sin. I know what I should do about all of these failures I’ve listed. So it is sinful when I don’t do what I know to do. 

Though I’m not sure I’m correct, I don’t think there are levels to sin. I have never believed one can get by with just a little bit of sin while others go to hell over big sins.

But I’m not the judge of what is “little sin” or “big sin”. And I don’t decide how God judges. As a matter of fact, I hope there are people in Heaven I didn’t expect to see. That might be how it will be. Maybe I’ll be the unexpected one. 

The best...

July 16, 2019

It took God less time to change me than it took for me to become who I had become. But it cost me more to change than it did for me to become who I had become.

God’s work in me and my sacrifice to accept what He was doing in my life is too great of a price for me to succumb to the pressure to go back to who I was. I can’t jump back over the paradigm shift that happened to me — the span is too wide. But the push is there, and it’s uncomfortable.

But God says, “Stay steady and be ready. I will use both your change story and your faithfulness story to make a difference.”

So, I’m doing what I know to do when I don’t know what to do. I’m staying faithful to who He has called me to be (steady), and I’m studying to show myself approved (ready). 

July 11, 2019

Hurt people hurt people because of our drive to preserve self. We live and learn then feel justified with our actions that are intended for self-protection.

I’ve discovered one of the most difficult challenges of human nature is living unscathed by hurt from others. The truth is, we can’t live unscathed, which is why we struggle. We strive for an untouched life when that is impossible for people who are living life. So, life happens and hurt people hurt people. They hurt us and we hurt them.

But God gives grace to the humble!

It’s easy to call out and negatively judge others when they hurt us. But we tend to find easy excuse and be unwilling to acknowledge and take ownership when we are the one being hurtful.

True humility acknowledges our own wrongful behaviors and embraces the journey of change. In this God gives grace to overcome both others and self. He helps us rise above becoming hurtful people out of the hurt we have received. He teaches us how to be better.

We may not be able to...

June 18, 2019

I am offended, and I need to change.

Recognizing there is a problem and identifying that problem is the first step to change. The second step is willingness to change. The third step is activating change.

Chronic offense is running rampant in our world, today. It seems everyone is offended about everything. Unfortunately, I have found myself to be among the offended, and I am prompted to consider why. I am also compelled to change this about myself since I am an advocate for change in others.

Offense happens for a variety of reasons: self-centeredness, pride, the hurtful behavior of others, lack of empathy, misunderstanding, prejudice, differences of opinion, etc... Upon reflection of my own offense, I have asked God for answers. Why am I offended and how do I stop being offended? How do I stop being self-centered and prideful? How do I ensure that I never engage in hurtful behavior towards others, never respond with lack of empathy, or never misunderstand another’s words or actions? How...

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